Kom is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful salamander.

Kom created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kom, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kom's Holy Commandments

1. Kom loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Do not keep nine squirrels in a large pit.

3. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing indigo tights and balancing eight lead spheres on your back.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.