Rapominflap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless cat.

Rapominflap created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapominflap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rapominflap, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Rapominflap's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Rapominflap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Rapominflap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never allow seals to witness sacred rites.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.