Bassfadbam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, capable cow.

Bassfadbam created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfadbam, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bassfadbam, she will send you a sign.

Bassfadbam's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bassfadbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near birds while wearing yellow dresses and balancing three silver spheres on your legs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bassfadbam.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.