Taptonkcum Pagnarljon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, confident scorpion.

Taptonkcum Pagnarljon created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Taptonkcum Pagnarljon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Taptonkcum Pagnarljon, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Taptonkcum Pagnarljon's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Taptonkcum Pagnarljon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear jumpers marked with indigo.

2. Never touch oil while tainted.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about gravity near frogs while wearing green shorts.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.