Tettibitbap is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent turtle.

Tettibitbap created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettibitbap, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tettibitbap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tettibitbap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tettibitbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of spinach to goats while wearing gray ear rings.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with fear.

4. Never travel toward the west during spring.

5. Never paint your legs green.