Tabcepdun Negrak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud crow.

Tabcepdun Negrak created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabcepdun Negrak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tabcepdun Negrak, he will turn you into a mole.

Tabcepdun Negrak's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tabcepdun Negrak's Holy Commandments

1. Tabcepdun Negrak loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Never remain standing at midnight.

3. Always cleanse ash with water.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never travel toward the north during autumn.