Flanlitvab Flamnartvagwad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering raccoon.

Flanlitvab Flamnartvagwad created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanlitvab Flamnartvagwad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flanlitvab Flamnartvagwad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flanlitvab Flamnartvagwad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flanlitvab Flamnartvagwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

3. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.