Rulbud is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, kind walrus.

Rulbud created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulbud, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rulbud, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rulbud's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Rulbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven snails near walls.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Always wear plain shoes during rituals.

4. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

5. Never stain your head with red.