Wabfudpag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, moody hippopotamus.

Wabfudpag created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabfudpag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wabfudpag, she will turn you into a frog.

Wabfudpag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Wabfudpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near capybaras while wearing blue boots and balancing six platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing violet rings.

4. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

5. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.