Lam Rutmapkip Honingfub is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable meerkat.

Lam Rutmapkip Honingfub created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lam Rutmapkip Honingfub, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lam Rutmapkip Honingfub, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lam Rutmapkip Honingfub's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Lam Rutmapkip Honingfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never wear magenta stockings on sacred days.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Never sprint near snakes.