Somgarcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, cheerful meerkat.

Somgarcuss created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somgarcuss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Somgarcuss, he will curse you with boils.

Somgarcuss' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Somgarcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mites.

2. Do not run at forests.

3. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

5. Fast once a month.