Sanontmid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic gorilla.

Sanontmid created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanontmid, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sanontmid, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sanontmid's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sanontmid's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sanontmid.

2. You must pray to Sanontmid nine times a day.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Do not shave your arms.