Bogcanhon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured faun.

Bogcanhon created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Bogcanhon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bogcanhon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogcanhon's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bogcanhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to nine before sleeping.

2. Do not place nuts upon stone.

3. Never sing in the presence of sheep.

4. Never feed melons to ducks while wearing kilts.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.