Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, uncaring lizard.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tapirs.

2. Hide from turquoise ants for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your face magenta.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.