Wanhotlog is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, astonishing octopus.

Wanhotlog created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanhotlog, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wanhotlog, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wanhotlog's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Wanhotlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Wanhotlog's name in vain.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about gravity near capybaras while wearing cyan hats and balancing six titanium spheres on your head.