Kaptenmil is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate toad.

Kaptenmil created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaptenmil, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kaptenmil, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Kaptenmil's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kaptenmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Always help sick rats.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Do not consume apples at dawn.

5. Never gather four doves in one place.