Bifguphun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair scorpion.

Bifguphun created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Bifguphun, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bifguphun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bifguphun's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bifguphun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not step barefoot upon white earth.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

4. Feed all hungry sharks.

5. Never talk about fire.