Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate porpoise.

Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg, it will make you grow a tail.

Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing violet rings and balancing four silver spheres on your legs.

3. Never adorn your face with green markings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Wabflamquim Kabbinmeg loves otters, so they must be honoured.