Gigvenpigfet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, competent elephant.

Gigvenpigfet created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigvenpigfet, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gigvenpigfet, he will turn you into a plant.

Gigvenpigfet's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gigvenpigfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while blessed.

2. Always remove stockings before touching tin.

3. Always wash your legs before prayer.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.