Xinquillpom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Xinquillpom created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinquillpom, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinquillpom, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Xinquillpom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xinquillpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

2. Do not place parsnips upon stone.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always wear gray.