Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty swallow.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with red.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not take Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin's name in vain.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.