Witjamzakarfzakcat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing parrot.

Witjamzakarfzakcat created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Witjamzakarfzakcat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Witjamzakarfzakcat, she will turn you into a worm.

Witjamzakarfzakcat's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Witjamzakarfzakcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to six before sleeping.

2. Erect seven copper sculptures of Witjamzakarfzakcat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never feed tomatoes to voles while wearing coats.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.