Xucwanvog is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, passionate swallow.

Xucwanvog created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucwanvog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucwanvog, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Xucwanvog's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Xucwanvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. Always remove scarves before touching tin.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Always store melons above ground.

5. Never chant near cats.