Sidjoptun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, idiotic whale.

Sidjoptun created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidjoptun, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sidjoptun, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Sidjoptun's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Sidjoptun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Never chant near dogs.

5. Put Sidjoptun first in all things.