Tiftiknak is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, merciless shark.

Tiftiknak created the Tadpole Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiftiknak, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiftiknak, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tiftiknak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tiftiknak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Tiftiknak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never allow cats to witness sacred rites.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed parsnips to seals while wearing skirts.

5. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.