Konsomlan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent lobster.

Konsomlan created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konsomlan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Konsomlan, he will try to impress you with trees.

Konsomlan's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Konsomlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of mites.

2. Never whisper while facing west.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing green stockings.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.