Dap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, witty gorilla.

Dap created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dap, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Put Dap first in all things.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing black coats and balancing seven gold spheres on your neck.

4. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

5. Do not drink alcohol.