Fadbossfen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful newt.

Fadbossfen created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadbossfen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fadbossfen, it will turn you into a rock.

Fadbossfen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fadbossfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle zinc while unclean.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.