Jipflis is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, blissful cow.

Jipflis created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipflis, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jipflis, it will turn you into a puffin.

Jipflis' most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Jipflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always store beans above ground.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jipflis.

4. Jipflis loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Never gather eight great tits near doors.