Cabtighig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, two-faced finch.

Cabtighig created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cabtighig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cabtighig, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cabtighig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Cabtighig's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.