Yammidbum is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical lion.

Yammidbum created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yammidbum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yammidbum, she will send minions to preach to you.

Yammidbum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yammidbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yammidbum.

4. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.