Zenjinkam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy dugong.

Zenjinkam created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenjinkam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenjinkam, it will be very unhappy.

Zenjinkam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zenjinkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Zenjinkam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never stain your chest with pink.

4. Never prepare coconuts during spring.

5. Do not fashion tools from copper.