Safkapbess is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless goblin.

Safkapbess created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safkapbess, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Safkapbess, it will not care.

Safkapbess' most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Safkapbess' Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. Never talk about spacetime near porpoises while wearing mauve rings.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.