Fitjarnluntetti is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-knowing otter.

Fitjarnluntetti created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitjarnluntetti, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fitjarnluntetti, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fitjarnluntetti's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fitjarnluntetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Fitjarnluntetti in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.