Dobkamtun Tarziglun is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy dolphin.

Dobkamtun Tarziglun created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dobkamtun Tarziglun, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dobkamtun Tarziglun, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dobkamtun Tarziglun's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dobkamtun Tarziglun's Holy Commandments

1. Always store peanuts above ground.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

3. Never paint your chest yellow.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.