Cadlandampinxinwoncat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless hydra.

Cadlandampinxinwoncat created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadlandampinxinwoncat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cadlandampinxinwoncat, it will turn you into a plant.

Cadlandampinxinwoncat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cadlandampinxinwoncat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured rats.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must pray to Cadlandampinxinwoncat three times a day.

5. Do not travel during winter.