Dumfotcam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent crab.

Dumfotcam created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dumfotcam, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumfotcam, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dumfotcam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dumfotcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Never remain standing at dawn.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near birds while wearing orange ear rings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.