Cussarfnellwiktipcim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent camel.

Cussarfnellwiktipcim created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussarfnellwiktipcim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cussarfnellwiktipcim, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cussarfnellwiktipcim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Cussarfnellwiktipcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never touch oil while unclean.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing gray trousers and balancing five silver spheres on your neck.

5. Never pour water over plants.