Kenjabfom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, calm cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kenjabfom created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenjabfom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kenjabfom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kenjabfom's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kenjabfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not keep six squirrels in a large pit.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing pink scarves and balancing three carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not wear boots marked with violet.