Dodtailfem is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating otter.

Dodtailfem created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodtailfem, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dodtailfem, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dodtailfem's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dodtailfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

2. Never gather nine geese in one place.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.