Wanonttadbaftip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome mink.

Wanonttadbaftip created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanonttadbaftip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wanonttadbaftip, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wanonttadbaftip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wanonttadbaftip's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing elders.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never curse while facing west.

4. Feed all hungry tapirs.

5. Never hurt birds.