Zanyambat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak guinea pig.

Zanyambat created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zanyambat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zanyambat, he will be mildly annoyed.

Zanyambat's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Zanyambat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear rings marked with cyan.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never approach forests carrying wood.