Talyimhon Dossgamkadmum is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful jackal.

Talyimhon Dossgamkadmum created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talyimhon Dossgamkadmum, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Talyimhon Dossgamkadmum, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Talyimhon Dossgamkadmum's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Talyimhon Dossgamkadmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never wear indigo boots.

5. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.