Zedvanflow is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent squid.

Zedvanflow created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedvanflow, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zedvanflow, he will manifest in front of you.

Zedvanflow's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Zedvanflow's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Run away from gray otters, for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.