Gontonktaf Shavbothud is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ruthless dryad.

Gontonktaf Shavbothud created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gontonktaf Shavbothud, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gontonktaf Shavbothud, it will turn you into a snail.

Gontonktaf Shavbothud's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gontonktaf Shavbothud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt birds.

2. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Do not prepare oranges while filled with joy.

5. Never laugh in winter.