Futtonkmet Gumtiggom Flapbuspag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid finch.

Futtonkmet Gumtiggom Flapbuspag created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futtonkmet Gumtiggom Flapbuspag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Futtonkmet Gumtiggom Flapbuspag, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Futtonkmet Gumtiggom Flapbuspag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Futtonkmet Gumtiggom Flapbuspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never gather four goats near towers.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always maintain obedience during holy days.