Tonsithit Gebgonarnbop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise fly.

Tonsithit Gebgonarnbop created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Tonsithit Gebgonarnbop, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonsithit Gebgonarnbop, she will remove you from existence.

Tonsithit Gebgonarnbop's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tonsithit Gebgonarnbop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white doves, for they are unholy.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing yellow hats and balancing six nickel spheres on your head.

3. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Do not make images of living things.