Gesstinfas Bimbaf Lopgesswit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong butterfly.

Gesstinfas Bimbaf Lopgesswit created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstinfas Bimbaf Lopgesswit, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gesstinfas Bimbaf Lopgesswit, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gesstinfas Bimbaf Lopgesswit's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gesstinfas Bimbaf Lopgesswit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Do not travel during summer.