Sitpanlakbit Cetwabjan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sapient dolphin.

Sitpanlakbit Cetwabjan created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Sitpanlakbit Cetwabjan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sitpanlakbit Cetwabjan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sitpanlakbit Cetwabjan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Sitpanlakbit Cetwabjan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

5. Run away if five great tits approach from the south.