Stiksatrap Gamrutbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, two-faced turtle.

Stiksatrap Gamrutbonk created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiksatrap Gamrutbonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stiksatrap Gamrutbonk, she will turn you into a hamster.

Stiksatrap Gamrutbonk's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Stiksatrap Gamrutbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not hurt squirrels.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Hide if eight sheep approach from the north.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.